Introducing the Secure Self Toolkit

Stop spiraling. Start responding from your Secure Self.

Your go-to toolkit to help you feel more secure within yourself, dating and relationships. Practical tools for the moments that actually trigger you, not just more information.

Usually $67. Get it all for $47Save $20

Grab your kit
  • Instant access
  • 6 tools + 12+ meditations
  • Go at your own pace
The Secure Self Toolkit on a computer, tablet and phones: attachment profiles, scripts, worksheets and meditations

Sound familiar?

Tap everything that sounds like you.

What's inside

Everything you need to start feeling more secure.

Real tools you'll actually reach for: understand your pattern, practice a little every day, and know exactly what to do when you're triggered.

Anxious Attachment Style Profile page: strengths, challenges, limiting beliefs, growth opportunities
Understand

Attachment Style Profiles

Your strengths, challenges, limiting beliefs about love, growth opportunities and a Secure Self affirmation, for anxious, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant.

30-Day Secure Self Plan, page one
Practice

30-Day Secure Self Plan

Four weeks: Awareness, Regulation, New Responses and Integration, with a daily core practice that takes about 15 minutes.

In-the-Moment Guide: When You Feel Triggered, page one
Respond

In-the-Moment Trigger Guide

Notice, pause, challenge the thought (QTIP) and reframe from your Secure Self, with examples for every attachment style.

Fearful-Avoidant Communication Scripts, page one
Respond

Communication Scripts

Word-for-word scripts for asking for connection, taking space, needing reassurance and slowing things down, for each attachment style.

Daily Secure Self Journal Prompt page
Practice

Daily Secure Self Journal Prompts

Three questions a day, with examples, covering who you want to be, what's happening inside and what you choose next.

YourSecure Self
Roadmap
Understand

Your Secure Self Roadmap

A personalized guide to what security looks like in your life, dating and relationships: the Secure You you're building toward.

Jessica smiling with her eyes closed, listening to a meditation on headphones
Feel more secure, grounded & emotionally safe in minutes

Plus

12+ Attachment Rewiring Meditations

Guided meditations to calm your nervous system, rewire limiting beliefs and heal attachment wounds. Press play anywhere. They help you:

  • Calm overthinking and relationship anxiety
  • Regulate the urge to withdraw or shut down
  • Feel safe when connection feels uncertain
  • Stop spiraling and seeking reassurance
  • Heal fears of abandonment and betrayal
  • Build self-trust and emotional security
  • Lower emotional walls without losing yourself

Take a peek inside

Here's what it looks like in a real moment.

Pick your attachment style to see a few of the tools in action.

From the Trigger Guide

When you feel triggered

  1. Notice the trigger
  2. Pause before reacting
  3. Challenge the thought
  4. Reframe from your Secure Self

The guiding questions, examples and reframes for your style are inside the toolkit.

From your Profile

A limiting belief on love

Your Secure Self affirmation

From the Communication Scripts

Say this instead

Your 30-Day Secure Self Plan

Four weeks. One new baseline.

Every day: Secure Self Visualization (5 to 10 min), journal prompts (3 to 5 min), and the Trigger Guide when you need it. Consistency over perfection.

  1. Week 1 · Days 1–7

    Awareness

    Understand your patterns: your triggers, default reactions and thoughts when activated.

    What did I notice about my patterns today?
  2. Week 2 · Days 8–14

    Regulation

    Learn to pause and ground yourself with meditations and the Trigger Guide.

    Can I pause before reacting?
  3. Week 3 · Days 15–21

    New Responses

    Not over-texting, not shutting down, staying present, and starting to use your scripts.

    What would my Secure Self choose here?
  4. Week 4 · Days 22–30

    Integration

    Make it your new baseline and notice where you're responding differently.

    I can handle my emotions and relationships differently now.
Secure attachment isn't something you're born knowing. It's something you learn.

This toolkit gives you simple tools to build it and practice it more consistently in your daily life, dating and relationships.

What people are saying

Calmer, more grounded, more in control.

Whenever I felt triggered, I knew exactly what tool to use. It helped me feel calmer, more grounded, and in control of my reactions.
Zoe

"The combination of meditations, scripts, and exercises made attachment healing feel simple, practical, and achievable."

Dan

"For the first time, I felt like I had practical tools to help me stop spiraling and respond from a more secure place."

Rachel

"The meditations helped me challenge old beliefs about love and begin trusting myself more."

Michael

Everything you get

The Secure Self Toolkit

The full Secure Self Toolkit: worksheets, profiles and the meditation library
  • Attachment Style ProfilesUnderstand
  • Your Secure Self RoadmapUnderstand
  • 30-Day Secure Self PlanPractice
  • 12+ Attachment Rewiring MeditationsPractice
  • Daily Secure Self Journal PromptsPractice
  • In-the-Moment Trigger GuideRespond
  • Communication ScriptsRespond
Get it all for$67$47
Ready for my kit
  • Instant access
  • Phone, tablet or computer

Want personalized support? Explore 1:1 attachment coaching.

Jessica Da Silva laughing outdoors with her dog
Jessica holding The Anxious Attachment Recovery Workbook

Created by

Hi, I'm Jessica.

I'm Jessica Da Silva, a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT), attachment coach, author of The Anxious Attachment Recovery Workbook, and host of the Let's Talk Attachments podcast.

I created this toolkit for the moment so many people get stuck in: you understand your attachment style, but when you're triggered, the old pattern takes over anyway. These are the same practical tools I use with clients, made simple enough to reach for in real life.

Feel it. Notice it. Then choose your response.
LMFTAttachment coachAuthorPodcast host

Questions

Good to know.

Which attachment styles is this for?

All of them. It's for anxious, dismissive-avoidant and fearful-avoidant patterns, and for anyone who wants to feel more secure.

I'm new to attachment theory. Is this for me?

Yes. The profiles and roadmap are a simple place to start, and the 30-Day Plan gives you a structure so you're not left wondering what to do next.

I already know a lot about attachment. Will this help?

Yes. The toolkit is built for the gap between knowing and doing: the Trigger Guide and Communication Scripts help you respond differently in the moment.

Do I need to be in a relationship?

No. It's designed to help you feel more secure within yourself, in dating, and in relationships.

How do I get access?

Click any "Grab your kit" button and check out. You'll get access to the toolkit right away.

Is this therapy?

No. The toolkit is a self-guided educational resource and isn't a substitute for therapy or mental health treatment.

Your Secure Self is waiting

You don't need more information. You need tools.

Six practical tools and 12+ meditations to help you stop spiraling and respond from a more secure place.

Grab your kit for $67 $47
Secure Self Toolkit$67 $47 today
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